Deep breath.

I’m stopping Velocasting.

There, I said it and the world didn’t end.

I’d decided to do this a good few weeks ago and talked to Scott and a few trusted others about it. I’d got the chance of a job which I would enjoy but would take up more of my time. Something had to give and the ‘cast was the obvious candidate.
I decided not to take the job though and was confident that I could carry on ‘casting and indeed right up until the middle of last week I hoped that would be the case.
Last week however, something came up which stopped me attending Eurobike, a show we’d asked for your support to attend and which we had great plans for. I let you folk down. Scott on his own did a sterling job of gathering content and we’ll get that out to you as soon as his head’s stopped spinning.
This week isn’t much better in terms of free time. ;o(
Now, those of you who follow us on twitter will know that I’m a man of a good few passions, music, guitar mountains etc.
You’ll also know that I value the time I get to spend with my wife and three kids.
The nature of postie-ing means that I need to get up early, which means I have to go to bed early-ish so I’ve got a relatively short period of time each day to fit all this stuff in and it’s getting shorter as the relentless squeeze on the postal service continues. ;o(
So I need to free up more time for my family and to pursue things like music and hills which I’ve frankly neglected.
I never imagined The Velocast would become as popular as it has but that popularity means that it’s become an unpaid job. A job I love, but a job nonetheless. It takes a big chunk of time to prepare and record the show each week. You’d be amazed! That’s time I need to spend on the other bits of my life. ;o(
What I can’t give up though is talking to you lot. I’m going to go all American and schmalzy and say that the community that’s formed around the ‘cast has become a hugely important part of my life. It’s just that I’ll have to fit that conversation in when I can as opposed to devoting chunks of each day to it.
So, as of today I’ll start using my old twitter account @sofaboy and anyone who’s interested can follow me there. I’ll start up a blog for random musings in the very near future. Hell, David’s even said I can pop up on The Spokesmen from time to time.;o)
Scott, of course, has my full support in whatever path he decides to take with The Velocast although I can think of a few big companies who’d be smart to offer him a job managing an in-house podcast. ;o)
Hopefully my last few shows will be crackers given the Eurobike stuff etc we have to talk about and the Vuelta coming to the boil.

Been a blast, thanks folks.

John

If you finished in the Top 10, get in touch via our contact form or on Twitter (@velocast) and we can send you a prize!
Please look out for our upcoming prize winners list even if you were rubbish like John, there will be many spot prizes as well.

LA GAZZETTA DELLO VELOCAST

Rank	Team	Directeur	Score
1	Fab`s Army	Fabio Close	5989
2	ORB, Inc.	Dan	5964
3	Benito`s Bambinos	Ben Everitt	5952
4	PAOLO FONZASO!!!!!	paulo Fonzaso	5829
5	Cereus Cadence	Erica	5805
6	LADiators	Chris Alfred	5796
7	Downing Clooier	Max Headroom	5746
8	Blazin` Saddles	Felix Lowe	5706
9	Cheese Eating Surender Monkeys	Tinysaur	5692
10	King of the Mountains	Luke Norman	5684
11	Sunflowers	Mark Lovejoy	5640
12	Velo Ecosse	John Laughlin	5551
13	MagliaRosa	Terence McMahon	5527
14	Pour un maillot jaune	Pete	5494
15	Team Ibuprofen	Ja Piers	5393
16	Team Fignon	VeloCast Scott	5392
17	ICON-Viva la Agha	Ali Agha	5377
18	Bad Boy Club CC	Max	5343
19	Le Velo Vole	Andy Moore	5305
20	Brie Sandwiches	J	5238
21	team forza	mark mathews	5229
22	Kenneth Green`s Sandwich Box	FatManonaBike	5213
23	TEAM LARD	Colin Addison	5203
24	Team Lantern Rouge	Daniel Alpin	5185
25	SufferinMajorly	JMcM	5171
26	RadioCack	Hazel Brown	5149
27	Crombie Street Velo Club	Yoni	5088
28	the bootyhouse team	mary	5065
29	A la Walkowiak	Gavin Long	5028
30	the EPOnymous heroes	jmgorman	5017
31	Team Katusha (Gesundheit)	Velo Valsesia	5009
32	Family champion!	Hazel	5007
33	Veloiste	Mark	5002
34	EPO Agogo	Ryan Ro	4999
35	Gruber Assist Racing	Ross Haywood	4998
36	WHEELS ON TOUR	Dave Wilson	4995
37	R`lyeh Riding Team	Denilzon	4976
38	Alpine Allstars	Tarmacchaser	4973
39	Penguin Peloton	Stephen Allport	4973
40	Pavé	Whit Yost	4969
41	Respect the Thighs	Floodie	4968
42	Je tour, tu tours, il tour.	Sibaldib	4953
43	Split in Two Wheels	Michael Shires	4945
44	Team Radiosmack	xfritzx	4925
45	coolone	steve coolone	4914
46	Bobby`s Bombers	Rob	4902
47	Team Rising Sun	Hello Kitty	4892
48	Mzungo Road Club	Mzungo Markus	4887
49	Euro doggers	Eurodad	4881
50	Fixies give you ass cancer	sarazen	4880
51	Spokey dokeys	Jen shepherd	4876
52	Mercurial Maestros	John Anglesea	4846
53	Romanian Riders	Matei Victor	4843
54	Budgie Smugglers	Grover	4826
55	Discombobulators	JME	4825
56	Team Irn Bru/Made fae Girders	euanlindsay	4822
57	AKCD	Aidan Gannon	4816
58	Wilmington`s Cow	Anthony Robson	4794
59	Velo City CC	Mike Hurl	4793
60	Team Rocket	Nishith Pandya	4790
61	sadie bd	phil	4786
62	Master	Simon Spencer	4782
63	Quickstep in my Kitchen	Mikey	4768
64	GABICI	Gabriella Sotgiu	4765
65	Derbyshire Destroyers	Steve Smith	4761
66	Team Brown Jersey	Steve Brown	4756
67	Motor Sounds Records	Andy McGibbon	4744
68	Kazakh Crusaders	Freddie Shires	4743
69	Team Optimistic Denial	Brook	4709
70	Mt Diablo Climbers	Dan Jones	4702
71	Ed von Schleck	Christian	4689
72	Tawny Le Tour Select	Tawny Cam	4674
73	The caravan is all I come for	Kirsty Macleod	4671
74	cafe legs veloclub	Benn Jones	4660
75	Martin`s Maestros	Martin Black	4656
76	The Pudsey Peloton	Dave Harrison	4654
77	Flandriens	ksavje	4637
78	Riding Lunch	Dale Goodwin	4637
79	Banzai Samurai	Jimmy Shinagawa	4596
80	Sherps Saviours	Steve Larwood	4596
81	Chromered Racing	Si	4579
82	Motorpowered Marshmallow Pasta	Dim	4576
83	Steve`s Slowcoaches	Steve Smith	4569
84	Wheels of Fire	Jack McCall	4568
85	You Seen Basso`s Sister?	Jason	4568
86	Wiggly-ass	Rich Mellen	4533
87	The Villains	Matt Legge	4528
88	Richard	Richard	4528
89	Randy`s Battery Pack	Russell Madin	4516
90	Firstbritonthepodium	Paul Gribbon	4508
91	LeMonds Love Train	Sprinting4Signs	4500
92	Domestiquated	Rhodri Viney	4499
93	Craig`s team	Craig	4474
94	Maas` Men	JurgenMaas	4455
95	Team SexyBank	LeoLeonie	4423
96	Velo Gweeds	Guy Collier	4414
97	SQUADRA	Kev	4404
98	The Majestical Velocipedalists	Sam Dobbin	4381
99	Sean Kelly for prime minister	timmi	4371
100	TBag`s Bitches do France	Teresa	4367
101	VeloScots	Owen P	4359
102	Team 2010	Colin Smith	4359
103	SuperJail	Rob Reeves	4356
104	Cell Block C	Prison	4355
105	Meo GP	Brent	4354
106	Elite Pedalling Organisation	Hewey	4347
107	High Rouleurs	George Chapman	4337
108	BOOM !	The Boy	4333
109	Ne steppez pas sur my dog	Jon Stump	4325
110	Pie in The Team Sky	Graham Potts	4321
111	Force & Form	Neil McCullough	4315
112	Dr Evil Revs the Cheese	Gary Pye	4313
113	Going Nowhere Slowly	Biking Badger	4300
114	Wiggo`s Wheelers	Snedz2	4297
115	TeaHags are People Too	TeaHag	4288
116	La maison dans le domaine	Ian Fieldhouse	4286
117	Team Spazio Bambino	Nick Gee	4278
118	Spanky`s Team	Spanky	4275
119	The Loonies on The Trikes	TLOTT	4273
120	TELOCA	Saltyfugu	4259
121	TELOCA	Saltyfugu	4259
122	Thorstruck	Steve and Paula Trice	4254
123	Love Velo	Joe Sharp	4252
124	tourmalet1910	allychurch	4250
125	Young Goons	Peter	4244
126	Germano Mosconi for UCI prez!	Gandalf	4227
127	Team Leaf	RacerAndy	4221
128	Bar tape and Bidons	Vincent Giovinco	4221
129	Powderhorn posse	Derek DelaPaz	4209
130	Club Foot Wheelers	HerniaHill	4179
131	G.S. GAZZETTA	La GAZZETTA DELLA BICI	4171
132	Team Dotteloty	MonaLS	4168
133	Team S2	S2art	4163
134	Badgers @rse	Cows Passage	4160
135	djamolidine abdoujaparov	Christopher Lee	4154
136	Velo Spirit	David Fitt	4152
137	Velo Club Don Logan	BMFW	4100
138	Herne Hill Tumblers	Beverly	4091
139	Gros Grimpeurs	David Moran	4083
140	Go For Broke	rob churcher	4078
141	bryan\`s tour team	bryan	4077
142	team blitz	blitzbike	4077
143	Brokeback Mountaineers	Brian Munich	4061
144	Galloway`s Gregarios	JohnG	4058
145	La Lola	Tess	4044
146	Maison Mathews	Chris Mathews	4026
147	slipperydoppers	slipperydoppers	4025
148	funknbikes	chris duncan	4024
149	The Bike Whisperer	Geezer	4024
150	Indian Rangers	Pandya	4017
151	Bananas	Matt Saling	4011
152	La Gazza Ladra	Stephen Davies	4008
153	MYANDY	Gaston Guyatt	4007
154	Smooth Team	Cátia Marques	4007
155	Indigo	Nishith	4003
156	Tour De Buick	David	3991
157	lemon	jimmylemon	3990
158	Milky Milky Milram (Lactofree)	Nichiless Dey	3986
159	Team B34	TimB	3980
160	Team Dementia	alifeinwales	3964
161	Matt Finish France	Matt France	3955
162	Floyd`s Friends	Baruch Brodersen	3949
163	Team Celeste	Alan Newman	3945
164	G.S. Incazzato	Mark Grant	3934
165	AdvancedSL	Lee Boyman	3933
166	Alta Kachers	Baruch Brodersen	3922
167	The Flying Fifers	Jim Meek	3917
168	Pencil Sharpening Wheelers…	RichMitch	3915
169	carpo	carpo	3907
170	Grimpeur With a Whimper	Keith Black	3906
171	SeriousArgyBargy	Ryan Cleary	3902
172	Napa Crushers	Jason King	3900
173	Nsdq007 CyclingTeam	Nasdaq	3900
174	Team Idiot Savant	Ailsa (Mrs JohnG)	3898
175	Velotips	Velotips	3892
176	Velogog	Ian Jeakins	3891
177	Lickamaluvpump	Scarface Nine Toes	3862
178	I corridori verdi	Eustachio	3858
179	Pat_McQuaid_Is_My_Dad	John Wilkinson	3842
180	Galactic Hitchhikers	Ata Atay	3824
181	Granola Muesli	Gimme	3822
182	Bodach Mara	Billy Campbell	3795
183	schmunks fullpullers	Martin Gustafsson	3784
184	Fox Full of Zen	Buddhist Fox	3779
185	Rocket Fuel	Susan	3770
186	Spazzetta Della Bici	Marcelle Holt	3750
187	thesavagerabbit	Craig	3742
188	The Edge Cycleworks Lancaster	James Mullagh	3741
189	HIGH5 Mini Racers	Tsukino Machin	3739
190	Crabon Fibre	David Capretto	3729
191	mountain_racer	fbhidy	3726
192	Bicycles.org.uk	Bicycles Mark	3726
193	Team Pompom	DS Cleo	3720
194	ChooChooTrain	Fabian Yeo	3717
195	Duncan Thomson	Duncan Thomson	3705
196	Team Tokyo	Tokyo Two Wheeling	3704
197	Flamme Rouge	Dave Norman	3690
198	climb every mountain	John Farr	3688
199	Lords Of The Chainrings	Charlotte Hubble	3682
200	Brown Dog Cycling	WackoRobie	3682
201	Rubber Bandits	Derek Troy	3678
202	Dalston Rouleurs	Chris Herring	3677
203	Al-Khobar Allstars	Gavin Simmons	3674
204	That looks like Stephen Roche!	Daren Chandisingh	3669
205	Stumpy`s Sausage Rouleurs	Gary Fairley	3640
206	Cranky Velos	Paul Hutton	3617
207	Cottydale	Cottydale	3599
208	Le Helix	Mark Ward	3584
209	ironbru	Tim Fagan	3581
210	Les Singes	Jacques Le Singe	3576
211	Murphs Maillot Hunters	Chris Murphy	3567
212	Team Coffin Dodgers	epoh	3566
213	Interstellar Tagnuts	Titus Onassis	3563
214	scotstoun wheelers	Colin McAdam	3561
215	Chorlton&theWheelies	natalie	3533
216	Team Gruber A	mrchrispy	3532
217	Na Seamrogs	Ronan Ryan	3526
218	www.ccgiro.net	Jondy	3518
219	Gruber-Assisted	lardychap	3503
220	Robabank	gavinmorton1	3485
221	Dukkar devils	Dukkar	3478
222	Puncheurs Galore!	Stephan	3472
223	team tourdecouch	rachdebear	3472
224	Veloglo	Elizabeth O`Raw	3470
225	Mainegruppetto	Mark Condon	3468
226	Maxella Velo Club	Eric Schram	3462
227	uncle heavy`s pork chop revue	steve	3448
228	Gregarios	ross cunliffe	3442
229	SDVeloSocial	Weezyrider	3442
230	Hoopdrivers	Dr Jones	3431
231	Team Pie in the Sky	Yennings	3411
232	Loire Boys	Max Willes	3410
233	Vocal Velo	emermcp	3409
234	Ramrod	Braulio	3399
235	Team Freewheel	Stu Platt	3396
236	Sudocream	Paul Rollings	3380
237	Egg Racing	Rob Walker	3376
238	Dogz-Gonadz	Guy Russell	3366
239	The Mo Fireballs	Fire Ball	3361
240	tdfseasonal	Arthur Richardson	3352
241	Rollin Tubs Huffin Mastik	Swaminstar	3344
242	The Gears of Sweat	Craig	3344
243	Velo Rouge	nichbuick	3342
244	Who`s the Boss?	James Blanchett	3341
245	Velo Club Ecosse de EPO	Colin Clews	3317
246	aghhhhhhhhh	Wayne Davies	3313
247	steellegs	Steel Legs	3306
248	Rosy May`s Enviomation	Colin63	3300
249	mmfs	Mike McConnell	3292
250	Team Pee Break	Justin Davis	3283
251	Team Also Ran	Holly	3282
252	Passista-GFNY	Gianpaolo Ferratti	3275
253	Racerboys	Daniel Rytz	3247
254	The Chaplin Express	Emma Chaplin	3215
255	Iggi	Iggi	3193
256	Pannierizzis	Matt Shaw	3191
257	La Grande Vitesse	Eric Gingold	3174
258	AnnaLexi	Glenn Muckley	3172
259	el_camino	G. Coubrough	3170
260	Cyclomonkeys	JC	3162
261	Team Upset	Alfredo Contraband	3153
262	Team G	Matt Grantham	3136
263	Dangville Mercykillers	Ben Wilson	3130
264	Bradstowe Rouleurs	Ian Williamson	3116
265	Cute Boys in Lycra!	Melanie Bennett	3111
266	Andy`s Jays	Andy Johannesen	3096
267	Nick\`s hackers	Nick Orloff	3088
268	Brake Light Granny	Maria Norman	3086
269	Bianchista	Bianchista.blogspot.com	3084
270	Tour de Force	Stu Walker	3080
271	Chamois Mountain goats	Sean	3078
272	TeamScott	Scott Macpherson	3058
273	Team ABC	Shane Culleton	3041
274	Basils Bodgers	Pam Meek	3032
275	Cutters914	Jane	3026
276	Luca All Stars	marcus bosano	3021
277	CFC1888cc	Gerry Mc	3017
278	They must be riding clean	David Riggs	3010
279	New Media All Star Tarts	Simoni Rowlandi	3001
280	Team Fly	Iain Johnson	2971
281	nutty`s nutty riders	Alex	2950
282	Milk Race Pro Cycling	Louise McCall	2949
283	Hope Springs Eternal	Ricco Zona	2928
284	socks eleven	Mrs Hardboiled	2887
285	Bici della Puglia	Joe Pugliese	2887
286	Mellow Johnnyoh`s	John Carrino	2885
287	Ichigo Ichie	Paul Watts	2878
288	Cat 6 Team Acme	Eatius Birdius	2874
289	RouleurCoasteur	MatP	2841
290	Battle-Khaki Personalities	Elizaveta A.	2838
291	Oakmad`s	Adam Oakman	2789
292	Gixers	Neil Summers	2758
293	Radio Mcflyers	Mark	2751
294	wigmania	pllb1	2712
295	Team S Ky Jelly	Brix	2704
296	FTW!	Dave-O	2696
297	bee emm see	smug ian	2669
298	The Fat Gits	Chris	2665
299	Equips Chap D`eau	Sean Hogan	2644
300	Shifty Eyed Ribena Boys	Yohan Broon-Ale	2640
301	Comets	Borobadur	2625
302	Downtube Shifters	Thomas Bennett	2591
303	Sam Russell Racers	Sam Russell	2513
304	Lavant Velo	Tony Walden	2504
305	Raven Island	Paul Convery	2468
306	slipperyslides	Paul Sloper	2446
307	Dopage du Jour	Gordon	2410
308	yeahyeahyeahyeahyeah	placid casual	2253
309	Snake Oilers	Ben Kiel	2176
310	Chippers presented by McCain	Super Blog	2159
311	Sod Off Corner	Andy Gilsenan	2141
312	the big team	Lydia Mellen (jnr)	2096
313	Austouria	Peter Dash	1975
314	Team Col du Marchairuz	Siocan	1925
315	Aussie Rouleurs	perthgirl	1876
316	saras shambolicness	Sara	1744
317	Compton`s cobble crushers	Comptonius	1719
318	Singe Jo	monkeyjo	1698
319	Team Tusk	Chip Gibbons	1582
320	Hangers on	Neilr	1028

]]> http://www.velocast.co.uk/blog/la-gazetta-dello-velocast-mini-league/feed 0 http://www.velocast.co.uk/blog/cycling-science-conference http://www.velocast.co.uk/blog/cycling-science-conference#comments Sat, 12 Jun 2010 09:55:20 +0000 Scott http://www.velocast.co.uk/?p=1305 Conferences are an odd thing.  More often than not they are held in the sterile, stuffy confines of a reasonably large hotel.  The conference areas are usually squirreled away behind a labyrinth of corridors so that the laminated badges of the delegates can be safely segregated from the comings and goings of bemused, suitcase-hauling tourists.  Did I miss that part of my school history class where everyone learned about the great tourist / conference schism that rivals capitalism and communism or Muslim and Jew in its mutual distrust?

The rooms given over to such gatherings always adhere to the rule of any hotel that states the quality of the decor and the ambient noise level is inversely proportional to the distance from the main reception – the further away you are, the worse it gets.

Of course the key benefit of this is that it quickly highlights how good or bad the actual content in the conference is.  If you’ve got time to notice that there is paint peeling off the cornicing or that the air is slightly stale, chances are the speaker isn’t really floating your boat.

Testament then to Professor Richard Davison, Associate Dean Research and KT, Edinburgh Napier University who chaired the 1st World Congress on Cycling Science as, apart from getting lost down the rabbit warren of corridors at the Edinburgh Carlton Hotel to get there, I was held captivated by the quality of the speakers I managed to see.

Work commitments meant that I could only attend the morning session of the second day and missed the opening Keynote speech by UCI president Pat McQuaid.  Speaking to Professor Davison afterwards (another in lifes’ Dougie Howser moments where it strikes you that all the doctors and policemen look about 12 years old!) , he told me that McQuaid gave a robust defense of the biological passport and defended decisions made on the Olympic Track programme – apparently some bigger boys from the IOC did it and ran away!  To be fair, as I didn’t personally get to hear Pat McQuaid speak I shouldn’t comment on what he had to say.

The first speaker I did see was Dr Jim McKenna from Leeds Met (I assuming this is the university and not the police force!) who presented a symposium on ‘What do behaviour change and implementation studies suggest about how to promote cycling?’. Dr. McKenna was fantastic and the points he made about how we as humans react to positive and negative suggestions on a given theme were fascinating and thought-provoking. I came away with three A4 pages of notes and several websites and books that I now need to read! Jim has kindly agreed to appear on the show and we hope to interview him soon.

The other speakers I saw who formed the days’ Open Communication session were equally enjoyable and there are a few that I would also like to talk to at length for the podcast – including Professor Davison himself.

One of the inadvertant highlights of the day was during the talk given by Ami Doroy from Australian Cycling when giving his talk on ‘Bike2Bike gap sensor – Towards Field Quantification of Aerodynamic Drag in Team Pursuit.’.  A representative from British Cycling asked, from the floor, is he was able to share any of the data that resulted from this project.  The answer was a categoric and comic; “No!”, which was hardly surprising given the rivalry between the two nations on the track.

My only regret was that I wasn’t able to attend more sessions from this fascinating event.

The personification of confusion’s masterpiece in all of this is, of course, Pat McQuaid.  When faced with the deity comparison question this is a man whose own sense of logic would have him immediately reply; “which particular cowboy are we talking about here?”.  And in much the same way one would feel cruel and vindictive for pointing out the ludicrous nature of a 5-year olds syllogism, I’m starting to feel the same about the laboured musings that come from the UCI president on an almost daily basis.  Think along the lines of clubbing baby seals to death, having first gased the entire area with Nitrous Oxide – too easy, too cruel.

So where do I begin with the interview given to Cycling News yesterday ahead of his keynote at the Cycling Science Conference in Edinburgh?  How about this for starters: when responding to Pierre Bordry’s accusation made on a German television station earlier this week;

“He’s accused us of not doing enough tests and says that the riders know in advance when they will be detected but that’s pure bullshit.”

However wide of the mark, misplaced, or just plain wrong Bordry’s accusations may be, it is completely unacceptable for the president of the UCI, cycling’s governing body, to using the word “bullshit” in an interview.  Let’s be clear; I was brought up near enough to Glasgow as to make no difference and can swear with enough ferocity to make a whore blush, but show some respect for the office you hold, Pat.  This may seem like pedantry of the highest order (we’re all adults here, right?) but this is symptomatic of an inability to conduct himself in a proper manner.  You would think if you had managed to attain the position of president in any organization you’d be able control your predilection to Anglo-Saxon verbiage.  Aye, and there is the rub; because if you simply can’t, the exalted presidential post is not one you should be holding.

He goes on to cite some numerical evidence in support of his argument;

“I can reveal that the numbers tell another story. In 2007 we did 1500 out of competition tests: 1000 urine and 500 blood. In 2009 we did 9000: 2500 urine tests and 6500 blood tests. That’s 25 a day. The AFLD did just 389 out of competition blood tests across all sports disciplines in France in the whole of 2009.”

All well and good.  But the UCI operate on global level whereas the AFLD operate nationally, in France.  Hardly surprising, then, that the UCI would have conducted more tests and this kind of “Hey, everyone, look at me quotin’ all me figures”, flim-flam proves absolutely nothing.

“There’s something going on in the row between Greg LeMond and Lance Armstrong. It’s being fueled by LeMond helping Landis and by information being fed to the media. That’s completely unfair and we should let the authorities do what they have to do.”

Yet in the very next paragraph;

“Landis is just bitter and is claiming that all these guys doped because he got caught doping and thinks that other people got away with it. He thinks he was selected to be caught but he denied doping for four years and now he’s saying the total opposite. I don’t think he’s believable.

Surely, Pat, that’s also unfair?  It’s conjecture and you should refrain from it while the “authorities do what they have to do.”

“I know that Lance said he thought that the figure was $25,000 but that could be because the UCI was actually dealing with Lance’s manager Bill Stapleton. Regarding the figure suggested by Sylvia Schenk, that’s figure she’s just picked from the air. The real amount is $100,000.”

“$100,000 is the figure and the receipt is available for anyone to see at the UCI headquarters in Aigle,”

The figure of “somewhere between $25,000 and $30,000″ was given, under oath, by Lance Armstrong during his deposition in 2005 when he was attempting to get SCA Promotions to pay up $5 million as an insurance policy bonus.  Well, that’s all nice and clear then.  However, can I maybe suggest that instead of telling us the “receipt” is in Switzerland and that we should all form an orderly cue after individually making our way to the land of cuckoo clocks and Nazi gold, how about publishing the UCI accounts, in full and online, for everyone to see?  Other sports’ governing bodies do it; why not the UCI?

The interview as presented is a hellish maze where around any given corner lurks a snarling insult or gibbering simpleton hell-bent on sending the unwary down further blind alleys.  I could go on and on but it’s becoming increasing difficult to discern what is madness, sadness or just plain badness from it all.  However, like the sticky after-taste of MSG following a processed ready-meal, the one comment that has stuck with me in the several hours since reading the piece was;

“We’re not trying to hide anything and we’re not avoiding the issue but all this raking up the past is not doing the sport any good.”

In the short term McQuaid is probably right, it’s not doing the sport any good.  But in the long term, and running indirectly proportional to the Omerta that this comment so reminds me of, I hope it will be a much better sport for it.

The thing is, aside from an inability to do the job he is paid (presumably) handsomely for, I actually quite like Pat McQuaid.  He’s like one of those irascible old geezers that seem to spend their entire lives in quaint, country pubs.  He has his own chair and his very own pint glass has pride of place behind the bar.  He gives his opinions to anyone within earshot and although it occasionally strays into complaints about “bloody foreigners”, the “crack” is actually quite good.  But like all those mythical, flat-capped, pub-dwelling relics, they don’t – and shouldn’t – represent us.

“What am I doing today?”; he thought, his narrow eyes scanning the bedroom for invisible diary entries secreted somewhere about the Rococo cornicing.  ”Oh, yes!  I remember.  Jacques?  Jacques!  Fetch me my hand-bag.  I’m meeting Pat McQuaid at dawn!”

Yesterday evening the head of the French anti-doping agency, the AFLD, had appeared on the Frontal 21 television programme and said that he thought the UCI was doing a poor job with its own doping controls:

‘They (the tests) are organized in such a way that the riders know about them beforehand.

There are not enough target tests and out-of-competition tests so that Someone who wants to dope knows the system perfectly well.’

He also fired back at the UCI’s criticism of early testing of riders before last year’s Tour De France saying:

“There are teams which have never given us or the UCI [athletes'] whereabouts or only when it’s too late.

We want to control the riders who will be training in France before the race starts. Without those files, it will be difficult to find them but we’ll try and find a solution.”

So which side of the fence are you happiest sitting on?  The AFLD side which, it can be argued, has had it’s collective nose put out of joint since being sidelined in its own backyard?  Or the UCI side which, some might say, is hell-bent on controlling every aspect of the sport resulting in allegations of impartiality and conflicts of interest?

Quite frankly, I’ve had enough of both of them.  Every back-biting comment made through the press leads me to believe that there is more interest in preserving their own interests than serving the needs of cycling.

That being said, the logical conclusion that it’s difficult not to arrive at is that, surely, it would be better to have both parties working together to provide the most stringent anti-doping system possible during the sports biggest event.  Or am I just being as naive as a Mitford sister at a Nuremberg rally?  So, for the sake of cycling, enough of the handbag fight and grow the f*%k up!

Update: German anti-doping agency boss Armin Baumert also criticised the UCI in the ZDF programme, saying that ‘A lot must happen to be more credible than now.’ Baumert called on the UCI to let independent agencies carry out drug tests, but UCI boss Pat McQuaid told ZDF that this was not possible under UCI rules.

“Damn those pesky UCI rules, eh? I mean we would love to let independent agencies take over the testing but it’s the rules at the UCI, donchaknow.” If only Pat McQuaid knew someone at the UCI……..hang on!

n.b. “Handbags At Dawn” from Wiktionary: In British slang a fight where the protagonists are unable or unwilling to seriously hurt each other is commonly refered to as a handbag fight, in reference to the way girls fight by hitting each other with their handbags. Handbags at dawn is therefore a combination of the above with an allusion to ‘pistols at dawn’ style duelling to describe a conflict brought about by a percieved slight or offense to ones honour but which is nevertheless unlikely to result in any serious injury.

There were two parts of this interview that caused me to do a double take and both are contained in the following paragraphs:

“(Armstrong) has talked about Floyd’s mental well-being, as he’s done with me and nearly every person who has questioned him,” says LeMond, now 49 and slightly paunchy.

“It seems almost crazy to dare say that Armstrong admitted he used EPO, but he did call me in 2001 and admitted that he used EPO. That was his way of saying, ‘Everybody does EPO, your (1989) win was a miracle just like mine was.”

First of all “…says LeMond, now 49 and slightly paunchy.” writes the greying, bearded, 51-year-old author, Sal Ruibal.  ’Nuff said.

The second part, and let’s face it the slightly less bitchy part, that interested me was Greg Lemond saying that he spoke to Lance Armstrong by telephone in 2001 who, during the call, admitted that he had used EPO.

If Greg is prepared to stand by this assertion I can see him receiving another phone sometime soon; this one from FDA agent Jeff Novitzky.  The former special agent for the Internal Revenue Service is, we are led to believe, currently being charged with investigating the allegations, made recently by Floyd Landis, that there was systematic and career long doping amongst riders at Armstrong’s U.S. Postal team.

The line that Lance Armstrong is taking in refuting these allegations is that:

“He said he has no proof. It is his word verses ours. We like our word. We like where we stand.”

What the quote from Greg Lemond now points to is that it is no longer the word of a 7-time Tour De France winner against that of a disgraced doper who was stripped of his winners jersey. It is now the testimony of Floyd Landis and Greg Lemond. If Armstrong is going to play the credibility card, Lemond is a harder target to hit – especially now that the Trek case has come to an undisclosed settlement.

Cycling News ran a piece yesterday on saying that the AFLD (the French anti-doping agency) wants to conduct it’s own doping controls at the Tour De France this year.  This, of course, is a contentious issue as the UCI and the AFLD famously fell out after last years’ tour with both sides claiming the other were biased and damaging the sport.  The major litigious point was whether the UCI had shown riders from Astana preferential treatment when giving samples for drug tests and that the samples, according to the AFLD, improperly handled and stored.

There is a good comment on the Cycling News forum on why the timing of this news item is odd: http://forum.cyclingnews.com/showpost.php?p=233055&postcount=18 but I want to have a look at the quote given by UCI president, Pat McQuaid:

We’re not going to work with somebody who we have lost complete confidence in. Somebody, who, from our point of view is out to damage cycling and indeed to damage the Tour de France by his actions

What this quote seems to be suggesting is that if the AFLD’s test catches a rider doping during the Tour France then the UCI will be damaged, and by extension cycling itself, by having not detected this positive rider.  From that, the worrying conclusion you come to is that Pat McQuaid would rather a rider is NOT caught unless it’s the UCI’s own controls that catch them.

The reason I set this post out in the form of a question is you can read this quote in an entirely different context if you include the paragraph that preceded it in the Cycling News article.

AFLD and UCI have been at odds with each other since last year’s Tour de France, where both institutions collaborated to perform anti-doping controls. Bordry accused the UCI of preferential treatment of the Astana team, and claimed that urine samples were not transported and stored in correct conditions.

The UCI fired back at the AFLD’s accusations, stating that they did not intend to work with the French agency at the 2010 Tour de France…

The quote from Pat McQuaid then follows immediately.

I tried to find if this quote was from McQuaid was given in immediate response to the AFLD’s request to run doping controls in parallel at this year’s Tour or was made following the row that erupted after last year’s Tour.  If it was the latter then the charge of “McQuaid Defends Doping” can’t, in all honesty, be leveled at the UCI here.

I’ve just emailed the UCI to ask if they could confirm when Pat McQuaid made this comment.

The statement issued by CAS said that they;

“considered that there was no evidence that any of the results obtained by Mr. Valverde prior to 1 January 2010 was through doping infraction and decided that the appellants’ request to annul those results should be denied.”

So the court concluded that there was sufficient grounds to ban Valverde for 2 years but not that this ban should have any bearing on results such as the 2009 Vuelta.  This leaves aside the fact that these races happened after the Italian Olympic Committee (CONI) matched samples of his blood taken during the 2008 Tour de France to the evidence from the Operación Puerto case.  Confused?

The UCI has now stripped Valverde of his victories in the Tour of Romandie as well as 2nd place at Paris-Nice and as well as his position as number one in the world rankings. He will also need to pay back prize money received from these events.

Valverde himself has said that his ban is “totally unjust and illegal” and has vowed to appeal the CAS decision.

The CAS decision is unlikely to be annulled, though, and the question that Alejandro Valverde needs to be asking himself is “will I ever race again?”  The reason the Spaniard needs to be addressing this line of internal interrogation is that there is another court in the cycling world; the court of public and professional opinion, and in some respects, this sometimes matters more than the dry CAS pronouncements written in legalese that are so welcomed by the UCI and WADA.

Damn You. Damn You All To Hell
It used to be that breaking the Omerta, the code of silence that bound riders from speaking about doping practices, would draw the fury of the peleton. In recent years, though, it’s those that get caught that are the ones that find themselves on the receiving end of professional invective – and the 7th circle of hell is reserved for those that dare to complain about their suspensions.

Take Riccardo Ricco for example. After winning two stages at the 2008 Tour de France, Ricco tested positive for CERA. After returning from his 20 month ban his fellow pros couldn’t have been any more contempuous if he had shown up at a creche dressed as Gary Glitter. Robbie McEwen felt moved enough to post the following message on Twitter;

“Ricco – what a fucking hypocrite. Just don’t come back you piece of shit”.

Mark Cavendish was equally as unequivocal;

“It’s like a parasite coming back into the sport. It’s not the fact of what he did, because everyone can make a mistake. But he doesn’t see it as a mistake. He’s not even sorry about it”.

Please don’t misunderstand: Riccardo Ricco is sexist, conceited, hypocrite so I have no sympathy for him.

Can anyone seriously doubt that if it weren’t for the fact that Astana is Alexandre Vinokourov’s team he wouldn’t have won this year’s Liege-Baston-Liege or be chasing Cadel Evans across the Strade Bianchi at the Giro?

Who can forget the sorry tale of Michael Rasmussen.  Banned after his Rabobank team removed him from the 2007 Tour de France, which he was leading and was almost a certainty to win. The team said Rasmussen lied about his whereabouts when he missed pre-race doping tests.  He appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport, which upheld the ban in January 2009. The Dane has never tested positive, never admitted to doping but to the court of public and professional opinion he’s a doper, don’t want him back and he’s unlikely to ever ride in a ProTour team again.

It was inevitable that a post such as this would alight on the man who has navigated the word parriah to new, uncharted and dangerous waters; Floyd Landis. Slugging like a street-fighter at every turn since his positive test in 2006, Landis has would be hard pushed to find many micturating in his general direction should the American spontaneously combust. If anything he has more chance of several people doing it without him being on fire!

David Millar was persona non grata until his Road to Damascus confession and conversion in 2004.  In the 4 years since his return he has managed to gain the respect of most of the pros and most of the public – largely by throwing himself at our collective feet and begging for mercy.

“I would like the Union Cycliste Internationale to use me as an example. I think I’m in a position where I can stand on a soapbox and say I’m clean, it’s all out in the open.”

With BMC withdrawing Alessandro Ballan as soon as there was a sniff of the rider being involved in a doping scandal (note: BMC re-instated the Italian last week after an internal investigation concluded he had no case to answer) and the immediate rush to judge Franco Pellizotti, the new law in the cycling jungle is tantamount to guilty until you are proven guilty.

If Alejandro Valverde ever wants to see the sharp end of a bike race again, the best thing he can do is keep quiet, ride his bike and spend some quality time with Piti.

In the dialogues between Plato, Socrates and other citizens of Athens, a model of society is proposed that is ruled by a class of ‘philosopher-kings’ and the Guardians. Given the human tendency for corruption through power Socrates concludes that ruling should be left to philosophers who are least susceptible to powers’ corrupting influence – and therefore the most just.

In addition, another class of citizens was also proposed; the establishment of the Guardians who are responsible for management of the society itself.

But Plato then asks the question of Socrates; “Who will guard the guardians?”

The solution that Plato provides is that the Guardians must be told, as he puts it, a “noble lie”. The Guardians will be told that they are better than the people they represent and that they alone must act to protect those beneath them. The important part of this bargain is that the Guardians must be imbued with an abhorrence of power. They should guard because they believe it the right thing to do.

The phrase “who will guard the guardians” is now synonymous with the question of where ultimate power should reside.

Breaking The Cycle
Recently I’ve been writing on Pat McQuaid’s reaction to the the Floyd Landis allegations and how, I believe, his inability to take an impartial and transparent stance in his responses makes his position untenable.

Commenting on my post, some people suggested that it was the UCI as a whole who had become corrupt and were “morally bankrupt”. Derek proposed that the entire organisation should be put into administration and root and branch reform performed to rescue it’s legitimacy.

We have entrusted cycling’s past – it’s heritage, it’s present day-to-day running and the sport’s future to the UCI. They are our Philosopher-Kings and the Guardians of cycling all rolled into one. In the decisions and policies announced or the public deportment of it’s bullish president can we really say that they are the most just? Do we look at the UCI and come to the conclusion that they find power itself abhorrent? Do they guard because they believe it to be right?

If the answer to these questions is no, then the ‘noble lie’ has failed and we must come back to the question; “who will guard the guardians?”.

I now believe that the UCI desperately needs an Ombudsman. Everyone from the professional cyclist, workers who make their living in the cycling industry or simply the fans; they are all constituents – peoples bound by a shared loyalty. At the moment the UCI operates with a tin ear, deaf to the cries of injustice, hypocrisy or corruption. There is no right to reply or ballot box where the citizens of cycling can voice their distaste for what is being done in their name. Where is our reassurance that the checks and balances are in place?

An ombudsman to the UCI acting as the intermediary should be elected by the constituents and not by the ‘blazers’ themselves. It may not be what Plato had envisaged but with the help of 21st century online connectivity and technology, the constituents themselves could act as ombudsmen – the constituents may well be the only ones who can truly guard the Guardians.

Incidentally, the Latin phrase “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?” comes from the Roman poet Juvenal who was referring to the impossibility of enforcing moral behaviour on women when the enforcers are corruptible. There is no evidence to suggest that he is a distant ancestor of Riccardo Ricco.

Photo: © Sirotti

It comes as somewhat of a welcome relief to be writing about actual cycling again rather that the litigious shenanigans that have dominated the headlines over the past week.

Stage 19 of this years’ Giro was no less enthralling than the vast majority of stages that preceded it.  Michele Scarponi took the win in the end thanks, one would assume, to a verbal agreement on the road with Ivan Basso and Vincenzo Niballi which ensured his work in their 3-man breakaway.  A break that also saw Basso ride into the Maglia Rosa.

The stage also saw bike handling skills from former race leader David Arroyo that Fabian Cancellara would be proud of.

However, what has caused me to put digital pen to virtual paper was the odd tactics employed by Astana’s Alexandre Vinokourov.  Vino found himself in Arroyo’s Rosa chase group along with Cadel Evans, Carlos Sastre and John Gadret and for the majority of it, steadfastly refused to take his turn at the front.  I saw messages on Twitter wondering if he had partially blown and asking whether he was about to be dropped.

In the last 500m or so Vino showed that he had been wheel-sucking all along and came from the back of the group to take 4th ahead of La Mondial’s Gadret.

But why?  What advantage was there is letting Ivan Basso take the pink jersey  and, in the process, allowing his position in the GC drop one place to 8th and distance himself a further 1 minute 10 seconds from the race lead.

Answers on a postcard.